Posted in 30somethings, life, opinion, pop culture, women

Are Your 18 Year-Old Decisions Still Relevant?

When I was turned 18 back in the year of 2004, there were many rite of passages awaiting to mark the occasion. You could get a tattoo and piercing without permission, register to vote and even enter the “adult store” in the heart of our small town. At the time it all felt like a huge deal since this was the first time you actually felt like you can make an adult decision. Why not take advantage of this newfound freedom just like the others your age? Many did and a few went completely overboard! Now twelve years later, I have to wonder; are the decisions made 12 years ago actually relevant in your thirties?

belly

I’ve had this conversation with friends about the “harmless” belly button piercing back in the day. I too took the plunge and got a needle through my inney and still have it to this day. Once my friend’s sister turned 32 she said that she felt that she had to take it out because she didn’t feel that it was mature or really appropriate for someone her age. Is this a conversation we need to have with ourselves at some point? What about those lower back tattoos that aren’t so easily to erase by taking out the perpetrator and awaiting for the evidence to close up? Do we lose our youth by trying to hide the past?

I never thought I would reflect on this special time in my life and think about how long ago it was. Was getting a piercing just following a trend or solidifying my transition into adulthood? What do you think?

Advertisements
Posted in 20somethings, life, opinion, thoughts, women

What Makes You Think It’s Okay

As I am about to share my most personal post to date, I must make it known that what happened really weighed on my mind heavily throughout the day. I contemplated writing this all down in the fear that it may be taken as a ‘poor me’ post but maybe that’s the problem with everything on my mind. If something happens to us, why must we be so fearful of speaking out or what others may think? You’ll get what I really mean in a moment.

My Sunday mornings have been pretty typical over the last few months; sleep in a bit (most likely until 8:30/9- my teenage years are behind me!), eat a quick breakfast, head to the gym and settle in for football. Today was supposed to be nothing different. I wasn’t supposed to feel out of sorts.

As I began settling into my workout with Eminem’s ‘White America’ blaring in my headphones, I was approached by another gym-goer that I had seen before. Our first encounter was less than appreciated. He made uninvited comments about my looks and how he’d been watching me workout over the course of a few months. Pretty much enough to make anyone feel creeped out! Since then I have made a conscious effort to avoid this person and to not give them the idea that I have any interest in entertaining anything he has to say. Today was the first time in a while that he approached me.

Seeing him leaning up against the machine I was using, I tore out one of my headphones with a “what is it?” sort of look. What he said next really shook me.

“Good morning. How are you doing?” he asked. “Fine. Thank you,” I responded, eager to get back to my workout. Before I could get that earbud back in, he quickly said the following: “I just wanted to say what you did last week was very mean and unfair.” Not knowing what he was talking about, I responded with a “what are you talking about?” His response: “While I was doing my back workout, you were standing in front of be bending over and that’s just not fair.” I’m sure at that moment, the color was gone from my face and my mouth was wide open. A very small handful of times I am at a loss for words and it was happening right then. Where was my typical witty response? What happened to the big “F-U” that would take this guys out at his knees? Nothing was coming to mind so I put my headphones back in in hopes that the rap music would fuel my anger. It didn’t.

As I moved from machine to machine, all I could think about was what he said and how he said it. It was so causal, like someone talking about the weather equipped with a sly smirk. What makes a man or anyone think that saying something like this is okay? I started to feel insecure. What was I doing that day? Were my workout clothes revealing? Were my move provocative? Should I be more aware of what I am doing? This isn’t me, I thought. Why should I be blaming myself over this situation when I am not the problem here?! I even quickly thought about changing gyms and getting away from this person but again it’s like why should I change who I am and what I do over someone’s words?

When a girl gets raped, it’s probably because her skirt was too short. When a girl uses her mind, she’s a bitch. When a girl feels confident in her gym clothes and her workouts, she’s a distraction. What can we do as women where we aren’t the ones to blame?

20161002_103726

From the photo above, you can see the change in my demeanor. I kept looking down at my feet in-between weight sets because I felt insecure. I kept going over the scenario in my mind and started to feel angry that I didn’t put the guy in his place.

Well, the chance presented itself.

Wrapping up my workout on the treadmill, eagerly pushing to make it home for the Patriots game, he appeared again right in front of me. I was suddenly so angry about the situation, my safety and having to defend myself, I took my headphones completely off this time and before he said a word I said, “You need to get away from me and leave me alone. I am not interested in anything you have to say. Stay away from me.” I said it loud unsure it if was due to the fact that I wanted people to hear or that the music had been blaring in my ears to drown out my thoughts. Of course he started laughing and walked away. I was glad that I said what needed to be said but still didn’t feel safe.

He told me before he was watching me, expressed an uncomfortable attraction and already crossed the line in communication. What am I to do now? Why are we as women constantly faced with these situations and what makes anyone think it’s okay?

 

 

Posted in opinion, pop culture

Legends Never Die?

“Heroes get remembered but legends never die,” so the story goes in the triumphant ending of The Sandlot. Sports and heroism fuse together as Benny risks it all to retrieve that Babe Ruth signed baseball from the irritable dog known as the ‘Beast.’ Does Benny ultimately become a legend after successfully outsmarting the beast dog? In the world of 12 year old boys spending summers in a dusty baseball diamond, yes. The legacy of Benny Rodriguez will remain the talk of the baseball diamond for future generations and it won’t be about how he made it to the majors rather, how he took a risk that summer and saved the skin of his best friend, Smalls.

Why can’t every athlete have some sort of legacy like that…..and don’t for a second say that Kobe does!

The last few weeks leading up to “Mamba’s” retirement has been a whirlwind in the marketing sphere. One of the greatest basketball players was about to play his final game and leave behind shoes that even Lebron may find hard to fill. We’ve seen it before- black and white video montages, commemorative jerseys and athletes across all sports showing their love and appreciation for the one, the only, the legendary, Kobe Bryant. But really, what is his legacy?

kobe

I seem to recall a press conference years ago hosted by Bryant and his wife; a very strategic PR move to downplay a serious sex scandal that the all-star Laker was involved in. A moment in time where fans and endorsers took pause in the investment they had in their basketball hero but it didn’t last long. As the lines of the controversial events got blurry, Bryant continued to play, win back his endorsements and lay crucial groundwork for a long lasting legacy in the sport. Sounds like Tiger Wood’s team took great notes if you ask me!

Kobe Bryant is not and will not be the only athlete with some controversy – Tiger Woods, Adrian Peterson, Bret Favre, Ray Lewis are a few that seem to come to mind. The interesting thing is though, they all have recovered quite nicely as their dominance in their respected sports has become the saving grace for their bad reputation.

The more and more this seems to happen, the more clear it is that an athletes legacy can come with scandal and controversy as long as they produce significantly. Remember when Tiger had a list 0f 17 women he was unfaithful with? Now the ‘buzz’ story is that he may have to retire early due to back pain. We are talking about the same guy, right?!

Heroes get remembered but legends never die. Where is Benny ‘The Jet’ Rodriguez when we need him?

bennythejet

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Hear No Evil.”

So admittedly, I have been pretty absent from blogging but I’m glad that I was able to have Daily Post prompt me with this “Hear No Evil” post and share a conversation that I could not help but overhear and wish I had not.

It was a few weeks back when spring was finally feeling like spring and I decided to take my dog for a nice walk around the high school area. Behind the high school is a track and parking lot that separates the high school from an elementary school. Typically after school hours is when I walk my dog and usually I’ll see people of all ages taking advantage of the track, playgrounds, and basketball court. As I passed a group of young boys, which by my eyesight were no older than 10 years old, I overheard one of them saying something that caught me completely off guard.

Boy 1: “Is that MacKenzie over there?”

Boy 2: ” Ugh I really hope not. That girl is a f**king bitch. Such a hoe.”

I pretty much stopped dead in my tracks, speechless and pondering if I should say something. It is an initial reaction I think most women would have when they hear someone talk about a female in such a way, especially when they are barely old enough to know how to tie their own shoes. In hindsight, I know if I had heard this story from someone else, I probably wouldn’t have been as shocked as I was in person because kids today do talk like that. For many years, I worked with kids that were in a similar age group and I would be blown away by some of the things that they would say and know about. It makes one think that kids aren’t as sheltered as we think they are and hope that they will be. It saddens me to think that young boys are already using these type of words to describe girls their age and it’s scary to think what will come out of this boy’s mouth 10 years from now.

Kids These Days

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Tagline.”

The Daily Post’s daily writing prompt has challenged it’s bloggers to write themselves a tagline that describes their human self. Can someone actually create a tagline about themselves in a world that judges them within a moment of their first encounter? I guess there are always words to live by and although we can’t always have our day to day reflect those words, we can certainly refer to them when needed. I guess my own personal tag line would be “Whatever Comes Next.” I’m a realist and I have definitley seen my share of challenges throughout my life so far but how I have handled those changes seems to have defined my soul. No matter what life has thrown at me, I find myself constantly pushing forward because honestly, you’ll never get ahead if you keep looking back. I have a lot of life left to live and things will be difficult and times will definitely get darker but knowing that I’ll be on the lookout for whatever comes next is what I hopefully choose to live by and will hopefully define my “tagline” of life.

P.S. I’m hoping this is my last mushy posting for a while 🙂

Can You Really Give Yourself A Tagline?

Posted in opinion, pop culture

Why Pinterest is Ruining Weddings

I like Pinterest. I have many boards that keep me humble including “Foods That I’ll Never Make” and “Crafts I have No Time For,” because let’s be serious for a minute. Yes, that 5 layered dessert with about 50 ingredients looks amazing but in reality I have no patience to make something like that and will show up at a cookout with a box of cookies (store bought!). I have to say though that my witty pin boards are what you will encounter on my page as I haven’t taken the plunge and titled one “The Wedding I Might Have Ten Years From Now, Maybe.” Now, that doesn’t mean I haven’t explored the mason jar and chalkboard signs that are the hot wedding pins on Pinterest. I have also visited many of my friends Bridal Boards in the hopes I can do my bridesmaid duties correctly by incorporating their dream color scheme and candle favors into their bridal showers. Now that wedding season is in full swing, I’ve encountered quite a few ceremonies that are very “Pinteresty” to say the least. It’s amazing to sit there and do a double take because you have seen the exact same wedding program somewhere else. Same goes for fonts on invitations and high end candy tables with custom made scoops. It’s not only comparing one wedding to Pinterest, it’s like comparing 5 to the same popular pins that they all have added to their boards.

wedding

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with any of this. Pinterest has allowed brides to broaden their horizons and try to incorporate a bit of creativity when it comes to the very traditional wedding ceremony and reception. The negative aspect of this at least in the eyes of someone that utilizes Pinterest frequently is that there is a loss of originality and uniqueness in each one. It almost feels not as personal as it should be because the bride employed someone from Etsy to design most of her materials that the vendor also did for ten others. We are spending so much time trying to be trendy and special instead of incorporating our own flare and personality.

When my wedding board eventually comes to full fruition which it very well may on a private setting, I will most likely incorporate many pins that have been staples in other weddings. My hope for myself and all the other future brides is to remember that it is YOUR day and not to let a trendy online magazine dictate what will be memorable for you.

Posted in boston, opinion, pop culture, television

Trying To Be “Boston” Is WICKED Annoying!

The Departed was on for about the 90th time this month and I couldn’t help but get sucked into watching it. Of all the Boston based movies out there, I’d have to say that it’s one of my all time favorites. It may be the “Dedham Mall” reference (the town I grew up in) or the fact that most of the accents on our point, that keep me tuning back in.

Image
Blake Lively in The Town

Speaking of the infamous Boston accent, let it be known that it is poorly demonstrated in a number of movies and television shows. Hearing Blake Lively slur “I want a LAWYA” in The Town literally sucked the life out of me. Why are the roles depicting Boston women revolve around drug addition, single motherhood, and little to no education? I believe Lively was even quoted as saying that she slept in her makeup and outfit the night before she had to shoot so she could look more authentic for the part. I’m sorry..WHAT? Granted every city and town have their own mix of citizen high and low but not every female in Boston looks and acts this way. We are among the top universities in the country and have a number of successful women leading the charge in all different areas. Even the 20 somethings are hungrier than ever and don’t need to be half dressed or knocked up to make their money. (May you RIP “Breaking Boston” cancelled after one episode)

Image

In the last few years, there has been a consistent uprising of television and film coming out of this city. Is Boston the newest trend or are we getting set up to be the latest embarrassment, Jersey Shore style? Watching the short lived reality series Southie Rules and Wicked Single made most of the locals skin crawl. At least we have some positive shows to fall back on like Wahlburgers and Boston’s Finest. (Both produced by the Boston based Wahlburgs. Hmmm, interesting!) There are also some great gems like Good Will Hunting, The Fighter, Mystic River, Gone Baby Gone, and Boondock Saints to name a few. Notice I left out The Perfect Storm? Diane Lane’s butchered accent is actually listed in the top 5 of worst Boston accents in film. I can’t watch that movie anymore..sigh!

To those who have yet to experience the real side of Boston, MA, I highly suggest that you don’t let you $10.50 at the Showcase Cinema be your education. We are more than accents, Bulger, and New Kids On The Block and we don’t need some high priced actress to drop some “wicked’s” to represent who we are.

Word to ya motha…