Posted in 30somethings, life, opinion, pop culture, women

Are Your 18 Year-Old Decisions Still Relevant?

When I was turned 18 back in the year of 2004, there were many rite of passages awaiting to mark the occasion. You could get a tattoo and piercing without permission, register to vote and even enter the “adult store” in the heart of our small town. At the time it all felt like a huge deal since this was the first time you actually felt like you can make an adult decision. Why not take advantage of this newfound freedom just like the others your age? Many did and a few went completely overboard! Now twelve years later, I have to wonder; are the decisions made 12 years ago actually relevant in your thirties?

belly

I’ve had this conversation with friends about the “harmless” belly button piercing back in the day. I too took the plunge and got a needle through my inney and still have it to this day. Once my friend’s sister turned 32 she said that she felt that she had to take it out because she didn’t feel that it was mature or really appropriate for someone her age. Is this a conversation we need to have with ourselves at some point? What about those lower back tattoos that aren’t so easily to erase by taking out the perpetrator and awaiting for the evidence to close up? Do we lose our youth by trying to hide the past?

I never thought I would reflect on this special time in my life and think about how long ago it was. Was getting a piercing just following a trend or solidifying my transition into adulthood? What do you think?

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Posted in 30somethings, inspiration, life, women

Another Year Down….

So it’s pretty typical for the passionate bloggers of the universe to conduct and share a year in review of their blogs. Being one of those not-so-passionate-as-of-late bloggers, I felt a little more compelled to sit back and reflect upon why that is.

Scrolling quickly through postings, I realized that I have had this blog since 2013 and it amazes me that I have committed to sticking with it so far. Three years ago I would say I was in a very different place physically and mentally. I was at a job that I no longer loved. I was involved with people that are now no longer in my life. I was still in my twenties and really thought this was all life could be up to that point but in the present it all seems like distant memories.

reflect

If anything the tone of this blog has certainly changed. It started out as a sarcastic and blunt way to laugh at myself and the world around me. Though I try to continue to sneak in those posts ever so often, I still seem to gravitate to talking about life and the new challenges of being a woman in her thirties. That can get quite tiring after a while; I mean who really wants to read all of that!!! My hope for this blog in 2017 is that I can put my strange, side-eyed, at times, over the top, personality to good use. As you can see postings have been sparse but I plan on changing on that as the New Year hits upon us.

People seem to be in fear of what’s to come next year but I say we are in this together. So let’s get back to basics and laugh about the crazy things that make up this silly thing called LIFE.

 

 

Posted in humor, life

I was wrong about toddlers

I have worked with children of all ages in variety of capacities and environments so needless to say, I think I am pretty qualified to “wrangle” them in. I love kids and what I love more is giving them back to their parents, especially when they start freaking out. Last weekend however, there were no parents to turn to as I was on my own with a 7 year-old and a 1 year-old toddler.

Go to the arcade, their parents said. It will be fun, they said. Look I am always up for a challenge and considering my cousin was expecting her third child any day I figured I would take her adventurous brood of her hands for a few hours, I mean how hard could it be?

They call the 1 year-old, my godchild, “the beast.” Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that! He’s a tough, curious kid that’s too big for the little baby categorized world he is currently living in; so I thought.

toddler

Once at the arcade aka bouncy house hell aka a place for many accidents to occur, both kids hit the ground running, literally! The older one wanted coins to play games (how the heck did my parents survive my Chuck E. Cheese days!), the younger one wanted to raise some hell. Which one do I give the most attention to first? When do they eat? Will I ever be able to go the bathroom and if so, how does that all work out?

Three hours later, I was exhausted.

Kudos to all the parents, grandparents, nannies and guardians out there getting this done. You deserve a medal. In the meantime, I’m just going push this whole “kids” thing back another few years!

 

Posted in inspiration, life, thoughts, women

Watch Me Shine

Today’s photo prompt from The Daily Post is Shine: Has something bright or reflective caught your eye in the moment? Share a photo of something you were able to explore a bit!

Living in New England in the fall is an opportune time of year to snap a photo of a bright and beautiful leaf to correlate with this challenge but for today, I’m taking it literally.

Something that caught my eye that caused me to reflect was this post by the Kind Campaign on Instagram:

kind

There will be days where we will be taken for granted, looked down upon or seen as weak but keeping this passage within your soul gives you the proper moment to shine even through those moments.

Posted in 20somethings, life, opinion, thoughts, women

What Makes You Think It’s Okay

As I am about to share my most personal post to date, I must make it known that what happened really weighed on my mind heavily throughout the day. I contemplated writing this all down in the fear that it may be taken as a ‘poor me’ post but maybe that’s the problem with everything on my mind. If something happens to us, why must we be so fearful of speaking out or what others may think? You’ll get what I really mean in a moment.

My Sunday mornings have been pretty typical over the last few months; sleep in a bit (most likely until 8:30/9- my teenage years are behind me!), eat a quick breakfast, head to the gym and settle in for football. Today was supposed to be nothing different. I wasn’t supposed to feel out of sorts.

As I began settling into my workout with Eminem’s ‘White America’ blaring in my headphones, I was approached by another gym-goer that I had seen before. Our first encounter was less than appreciated. He made uninvited comments about my looks and how he’d been watching me workout over the course of a few months. Pretty much enough to make anyone feel creeped out! Since then I have made a conscious effort to avoid this person and to not give them the idea that I have any interest in entertaining anything he has to say. Today was the first time in a while that he approached me.

Seeing him leaning up against the machine I was using, I tore out one of my headphones with a “what is it?” sort of look. What he said next really shook me.

“Good morning. How are you doing?” he asked. “Fine. Thank you,” I responded, eager to get back to my workout. Before I could get that earbud back in, he quickly said the following: “I just wanted to say what you did last week was very mean and unfair.” Not knowing what he was talking about, I responded with a “what are you talking about?” His response: “While I was doing my back workout, you were standing in front of be bending over and that’s just not fair.” I’m sure at that moment, the color was gone from my face and my mouth was wide open. A very small handful of times I am at a loss for words and it was happening right then. Where was my typical witty response? What happened to the big “F-U” that would take this guys out at his knees? Nothing was coming to mind so I put my headphones back in in hopes that the rap music would fuel my anger. It didn’t.

As I moved from machine to machine, all I could think about was what he said and how he said it. It was so causal, like someone talking about the weather equipped with a sly smirk. What makes a man or anyone think that saying something like this is okay? I started to feel insecure. What was I doing that day? Were my workout clothes revealing? Were my move provocative? Should I be more aware of what I am doing? This isn’t me, I thought. Why should I be blaming myself over this situation when I am not the problem here?! I even quickly thought about changing gyms and getting away from this person but again it’s like why should I change who I am and what I do over someone’s words?

When a girl gets raped, it’s probably because her skirt was too short. When a girl uses her mind, she’s a bitch. When a girl feels confident in her gym clothes and her workouts, she’s a distraction. What can we do as women where we aren’t the ones to blame?

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From the photo above, you can see the change in my demeanor. I kept looking down at my feet in-between weight sets because I felt insecure. I kept going over the scenario in my mind and started to feel angry that I didn’t put the guy in his place.

Well, the chance presented itself.

Wrapping up my workout on the treadmill, eagerly pushing to make it home for the Patriots game, he appeared again right in front of me. I was suddenly so angry about the situation, my safety and having to defend myself, I took my headphones completely off this time and before he said a word I said, “You need to get away from me and leave me alone. I am not interested in anything you have to say. Stay away from me.” I said it loud unsure it if was due to the fact that I wanted people to hear or that the music had been blaring in my ears to drown out my thoughts. Of course he started laughing and walked away. I was glad that I said what needed to be said but still didn’t feel safe.

He told me before he was watching me, expressed an uncomfortable attraction and already crossed the line in communication. What am I to do now? Why are we as women constantly faced with these situations and what makes anyone think it’s okay?

 

 

Posted in daily post, life, thoughts

Taking a Leap Off the ‘EGDE’

In response to Daily Prompt’s weekly photo challenge- EDGE.

What exactly defines someone as “living on the edge?” Is it those who jump out of airplanes? Maybe the ones that invest all of their money in a risky investment without breaking a sweat. Either way, “living on the edge” involves taking some risk.

What’s your edge and why haven’t you taken a leap off yet? At times I find myself battling this question as I teeter between the safe zone and the risk. There always needs to be some intelligent course of action and plan so if it doesn’t go as expected, you can hurry back to safety. Most recently my dog took a leap off her edge.

water

Typically my 12 year old Papillion hasn’t been much of a water dog. Though totally up for rough-housing and doing “big dog” things, she has traditionally shied away from dipping her tiny paws into any type of water. Last week we went to a pond with a beachfront that was finally open to dogs after the passing of Labor Day. Feeling the freedom from restriction, we both ran through the sand and down to the water’s edge where we took a moment to acknowledge where we were. After pondering her next move, she slowly made her way out into the water. I was blown away by her lack of hesitation and her immediate comfort in the calm, cool pond. When I finally looked down the beach, I noticed two large dogs playing ball and running free in the water. When my gaze returned to my own dog, that’s when I realized those dogs were what helped getting her into the pond.

They made her move off her own edge.

Although it sounds simple, this act completely encompasses  who we are as humans. We have the same fears, instabilities and uncertainties about taking chances.

As the New England fall season begins to arrive, I am still holding out hope for a few more sunny days where my dog can return and dip her paws back into the water.

Posted in life, thoughts, women

Single Stigma

….but you’re so pretty, why are you single?

A phrase used ever so often when a normal, upstanding female shares that she’s not in a relationship. Although most would think this is a compliment, it actually carries a bit of sting.

single

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day and the hosts decided to read some of their listener emails that are typically made up of women seeking advice about relationships, love and life. The first email was from a 32 year old woman who had recently become engaged but had a strained relationship with her mother whom she was excluding from the wedding planning. Though I’m sure most people can relate to dysfunctional family relationships and would probably be more engaged with what advice she would receive, I was taken back at the closing sentence of her email: “I know 32 is really old to get engaged but I wasted my time in another relationship for 10 years and it sent me backwards.”

Since when is 32 “old” to get engaged?

As a female in the middle of her first year as a 30 year old, I was shocked and saddened that this woman made this declaration. Since when is being unmarried or even single such a stigma? In a world influenced by Facebook, I’m curious to know if other people are diving into relationships and having children just to stay relevant among their peers. Are these relationships healthy and true? Sure, some may be but others prove that both parties may have benefited from giving themselves time to learn, grow and achieve some real-life goals.

We all take different paths in life whether on our own or with a partner. You never know why someone may choose to remain single but that doesn’t mean they are lacking the need to be respected. So before you approach your friend, acquaintance or coworker about being pretty and single, think about how they are thriving on their own and absolutely killing it.