Posted in life, thoughts, women

Single Stigma

….but you’re so pretty, why are you single?

A phrase used ever so often when a normal, upstanding female shares that she’s not in a relationship. Although most would think this is a compliment, it actually carries a bit of sting.

single

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day and the hosts decided to read some of their listener emails that are typically made up of women seeking advice about relationships, love and life. The first email was from a 32 year old woman who had recently become engaged but had a strained relationship with her mother whom she was excluding from the wedding planning. Though I’m sure most people can relate to dysfunctional family relationships and would probably be more engaged with what advice she would receive, I was taken back at the closing sentence of her email: “I know 32 is really old to get engaged but I wasted my time in another relationship for 10 years and it sent me backwards.”

Since when is 32 “old” to get engaged?

As a female in the middle of her first year as a 30 year old, I was shocked and saddened that this woman made this declaration. Since when is being unmarried or even single such a stigma? In a world influenced by Facebook, I’m curious to know if other people are diving into relationships and having children just to stay relevant among their peers. Are these relationships healthy and true? Sure, some may be but others prove that both parties may have benefited from giving themselves time to learn, grow and achieve some real-life goals.

We all take different paths in life whether on our own or with a partner. You never know why someone may choose to remain single but that doesn’t mean they are lacking the need to be respected. So before you approach your friend, acquaintance or coworker about being pretty and single, think about how they are thriving on their own and absolutely killing it.

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One thought on “Single Stigma

  1. I used to get the “how are you single?” question A LOT in my 20’s – and it was infuriating. much like for you, the question usually came with some compliment just before it like “you’re so cute/sweet/handsome” and then the stinger. and if I knew why I was single – I probably wouldn’t still be single!

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