Posted in boston, humor, life

Is Anyone Alive Out There?

I recently stumbled upon an article featured in the Washington Post that read “Boston’s record-setting snow blitz — a winter’s worth of snow in less than 10 days,” and let me just tell you that this is absolutely true.

I feel like I have gotten to know my Netflix and the food in my refrigerator a lot more closely over the past few weeks. Work has been closed, streets are left unplowed, and you don’t really accomplish anything significant. But hey, who doesn’t wish for a random snow day once in a while? On Grey’s Anatomy, even Alex let Izzy take a Seattle snowday, meaning take the day off and do nothing! I think about those days often after working a bunch of hours and how nice it would be to stay in bed all day.

A man drags a shovel up Beacon Hill during a severe winter snow storm in Boston

I saw a few people (that were not living in New England) on Twitter mention that they would have liked to experience the snowstorms aka Juno, for reasons that I have no IDEA! So for those who fantasize about a winter wonderland and a relaxing day at home. Here is your reality into my experience:

5:45 am– Wake up call from an automated alert from my workplace indicating that we were closed. You would think this would joyous but no, you are thinking about all the things you needed to get done at work today and you have no way of doing so!

8:00ish am-Not being able to force myself to stay in bed any longer, I finally pull the curtain back to see what damage had been done overnight. The street no longer exists and you overhear your neighbors bitching and complaining about shoveling everyday.

8:15 am-Throw on a number of layers (and by this, I mean like nasty sweatpants and sweatshirts, complete with stains) and try to open the front door.

8:17 am- Front and back door won’t open, snow up to waist. Consider going through the window. Consideration over.

8:30 am– Finally get out the door and waddle to my driveway to shovel for a full hour or so. Your snots start to freeze but you keep chugging through because hey, at least it is cardio and the gym is closed!

10:00 am- Return into the house soaked through the various layers. Think about taking a shower because now I’m currently engulfed in sweat. Decide not to because I’m borderline frostbitten and nothing hurts worse then jumping in a hot shower in this state.

10:15 am-Begin to stuff my face because hey, I must have burned close to 1,000 calories shoveling, bending, and brushing the cars off out there.(Pretty sure I brushed my teeth at this point, definitely not my hair).  Weather reports continue to come in that more snow is on its way aka the end of the world.

10:30 am– Warm up slightly and boredom begins to arise. You can’t really commit to anything because you know you will be back outside soon enough.

11:00 am– Dog has to go the bathroom and a trench has to be dug into the snow to her liking. This takes many attempts.

11:30 am-Stuff face again….ohhhh even hot chocolate with marshmallows that you chug because you are so cold and burn the hell out of your throat!

12:00 pm– Repeat everything that just happened for the next two days or until it STOPS!

Snow days aren’t what they used to be. Gone are the days of making forts, cheering when school is closed, and rocking amazing snow pants. So I hope I educated most of you on how unromantic and eventful weather in New England can be.

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