Posted in humor

Drink More Wine, Paint Like Crap

Let’s have some wine and giggle about brush strokes, paint, and that goofy apron covering up my new sweater from Macy’s!

Have you figured out what I’m referring to yet?

Yes, the Paint Bar or Paint Night or Muse Paint or White Girl Things To Do For Fun I guess; that’s what I’m talking about.


Look, I’ll admit it. I have been a participant in these two in a half hour sessions where you learn to paint butterflies and landscapes stroke by stroke. You think it is all fun and games until your painting looks nothing like the girl heading the class and all you want to do is break your canvas in half! In my defense though, both times I did this it was for a fundraiser for charity so at least I know my $35.00 went to a good cause and not for the piece of “artwork” hiding in the back of my closet. I’m not at all trying to bash it, it’s just not for me. The reason I’m bringing it up now? Well, my Mom’s birthday is coming up and I figured I would try to think of an alternative aside from “let’s go stuff our face at some restaurant.” An event at the Paint Bar seems like a pretty tame choice. For two hours, I don’t have to make conversation about how my dog needs her nails clipped. (I talk to my mother daily, not being a bitch here!) Plus, if she wants to get loose, because we know all those crazy ladies at the Paint Bar like to get down, she can have some wine and paint to heart’s desire. I’ve considered this for a few days and of course when I finally decide to go through with, all the crazy ladies have reserved the spots and it is sold out!

This is a sign of course!

The two paintings I have are lost among the shirts and pants that have holes in them that I can’t begin to part with in my bedroom closet. Monstrosities such as those should not see the light of day and I’m pretty sure my Mom would feel the same way about her own creation. Not that it would be a disaster but because at the end of the day when you bring that sucker home, you sit and wonder; “where the hell am I going to put this thing?” OHHHH yes. Let me put it in the front hall so all of my guests can see how artiistic I am… no thanks!

So although my Mom won’t be getting creative this weekend, I will have to be. Maybe eating food isn’t such a bad idea after all 🙂


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