Posted in humor, life

Halloween Is The One Night A Year When…

… well you know the rest. I mean “DUH! I’m a mouse!”

regina

Please help me understand the satisfaction some girls feel after parading around in a wedgie for hours on end in the brisk October weather. Hey, I live in New England and it starts feeling like winter by mid-September so even thinking about exposing an ankle sends shivers up my spine! I mean where did this invasion of wearing lingerie for Halloween come from anyway? OK, so you have a turquoise bra with rainbow knee highs, who are you supposed to be? Ohhh.. Rainbow Brite..should have guessed that! How about the girls that make normal occupations sexual? A naughty firefighter, nurse, cop, etc? Or turning innocent cartoon characters into sex fiends? (cue the BuzzFeed articles). Doesn’t seem like too much creativity there. I remember one Halloween when my sister was in the early high school years and she came down the stairs in pigtails, the shortest skirt, wait was it a skirt or a bandana? and hooker heels. I asked her what she was supposed to be and she lazily replied, “a slut.” Wow! Really? Her friends were going as the same mind-numbing costume and all I could leave her with was “good luck with that!”

What’s wrong with being a purple crayon? OK maybe that’s not the coolest but at least you won’t have to rack up a charge card at Vicki Secret!

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