Posted in health & fitness, humor, life

Gym Woes

Everyone writes posts about the types of people you see at the gym and they are overall pretty accurate and hysterical. This isn’t one of those posts though, instead these are my observations in my new gym environment that I can’t help but share. Let me remind you that I was a part of a women’s only club for the past year and a half, so going back to co-ed is like being released back into the wild. New sites, new smells, and an over-run population of the male species. Gone are the days of Cosmo Magazine, hot pink dumbbells (yes, this was a post last year!) and trendy eucalyptus water. This, my fit friends, is the mother lovin’ real world of gym life.

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Site Seeing

You would think that proper footwear would be a no-brainer when it comes to working out, at least for most of us. The 5:00 am crew at my new gym has other preferences. To the man wearing sandals: why bother wearing sneakers to protect your feet while hoisting weights that double your body weight? There’s nothing I like better then smelling weight room sweat coupled with crusty feet fungus. Plus, do I really want to look at your overgrown big toe nail in the middle of a deadlift? It’s a like a bad accident, don’t want to look but can’t look away.

Mirror and Rack Envy

This was a factor in both gyms but guys really LOVE to hog the mirror for 1 set of 4 of god knows what movement. I totally get watching your form in the mirror but why do you have to block the entire free weight rack? Excuse me while I crawl through your legs to return my weights to the bottom row.

I Didn’t Know You Could Do That With A Weight….

So that 1 set of 4 god knows what is a daily weight room occurrence. Props for trying to go heavy and push yourself but if you can’t get your bicep curl passed your belly button, are you really making a difference? There are also those that do things with weights I’ve never, ever, in my life seen before and that is not necessarily a good thing!

Grunt, Slam, Take A Walk

Go to gym with guys; check!

Smells

Hey, we all sweat and that’s a sign of a great workout, right? But what if I can ring out your shirt, not like I would want to, but wouldn’t you think you might consider bringing an extra? You know, before you lay all over the benches and not wipe them down? It’s not just the sweat that is bothersome but also the cloud of protein farts that overcome my nostrils as I struggle to breathe. We had a bunch of toot blowers at the women’s gym but the muscle milk infused blasts definitely stay with you.

Hey, I’m not trying to hate this Friday morning but instead spread the joys of trying to find distractions when working hard at the gym. No, I’m not against working out in a co-ed gym, I actually prefer it and not all of these observations are about men either. I think anyone that is trying to work out should be extremely proud of themselves but you have to make sure you are doing it the right way!

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