Posted in humor

When You Know You’ve Made It (Well In Your Own Head)

OK BuzzFeed as much as I adore reading your lists consisting of “You Know You Grew Up In This Decade” and “30 Things You Didn’t Know About The Simpsons,” I think it’s time that I give a little spin into what inquiring minds really want to read! 

bspears

Although I was born in the 80’s, grew up in the 90’s, and spent my teen years in the 00’s, I think I have a pretty good sense of how things have changed in pop culture over the last two decades. I bring up BuzzFeed because their “How You Knew” posts jogged my memory about how “cool” it was to be a celebrity when I was growing up. Don’t get me wrong, it still is but I remember fantasizing about all the amazing things I could do once I made it. So here’s my list of How You Know You Made It As A Celeb In The 00’s:

MTV’S Diary

“You think you know but you have no idea.” Um hi, do you have any idea how many times I practiced saying that one liner that will forever life in infamy as MTV’s “Diary” tag line? The Diary of Britney Spears was always my favorite episode because not only did she chomp on gum the entire time, we also got to see her playing basketball with then BF, Justin Timberlake. Remember their nicknames Pinky and Stinky? Well, you have to be hardcore to remember that 😉

Celebrity Power Couple

Speaking Britney and JT (was he JT then? I don’t think so!), being a celebrity power couple was all the rage. You got to rub everyone’s nose in the fact that you were dating each other, wearing matching outfits, and ate out at trendy restaurants in LA. Is that the IVY? I don’t even know…Either way having a famous BF or GF was key in making the obsessive fans want you more and hate your significant other!

Award Shows

I’m doing so great with these paragraph segways that I am even impressing myself! I mean power couples to being a power couple at an award show? Doesn’t get any better than that!  Anyway, award shows were the end all be all for celebrities that knew that they made it. I mean who didn’t want a surfboard from the Teen Choice Awards? What was the standard acceptance speech? “I want to thank all the fans that voted..” cue all the screaming 13 year old girls that stayed online for two days straight clicking “Vote” for Teen Choice Hottie In A Drama Series. The Teen Choice Awards were OK to watch especially with your parents around but The MTV Awards were a bit of an upgrade and always felt a lot cooler. So yes, I’d probably want to attend those instead so I can sway back and forth to the musical guest in my Cavalli romper because MTV is sooooo laidback and cool.

Awkward Magazine Photos

I’m pretty sure I had a subscription to Teen People and I’m not ashamed of it whatsoever. I mean come on, what the heck would I get out of reading Vogue and Cosmo when I was kid? What do I even get out of it now? Celebrity cover shots were the top thing that defined greatness because not only were they great for sales but all consumers wanted to reenact the super awkward poses. All you had to do was stand in front a fan, pile on some makeup, and awkwardly pose until the bones in your body felt like they would break. Celebs getting a cover of a magazine definitely upgraded their status from amateur to professional as fast as E! News could report on it!

Dancing and Singing or Lip-Syncing

So OK, here is another Britney plug and it’s only because she was the teen icon of the 00’s. We all remember watching her performances along with the boy bands and other female singers and admiring their dancing and singing skills. I mean how amazing was it do go out and do a full on dance routine while being able to belt out high notes and never get out of breath? My amazement with this skill was shortly pulled out from under me when my mother so frankly pointed out that there was no band behind them and that most likely, they were singing to a track. I NEVER wanted to believe it, so I didn’t. Britney Spears was all around great performer, she didn’t need help! 

So there it is, my ultimate list of when you thought you made it in the 00’s. Now I’m banking on that E! True Hollywood Story to spotlight my pending superstar status in the coming months. Bring it on Giuliana Rancic!

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