Posted in 20somethings, humor, life, women

You’re A Mean Girl

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I’m sure by now that you are well aware that the 10 year anniversary of “Mean Girls” was yesterday and like me, you probably thought it was pretty awesome. As the day went on though, the number of quizzes and “Did You Know” articles were a little overwhelming (… “the limit does not exist.”) I promise you that this posting isn’t like the others but instead a witty analysis on what  being “mean” really is.

As a female, I have experienced all different areas of mean from all different types of people and situations. In short, GIRLS ARE MEAN! Even nice girls are mean. It’s a tatic in order to survive in a world of judgement, confrontation, and competition. Want to know how to identify these mean girls? Check out my categories (and yes, I may fall into a few myself ;):

Bitchy Mean

When you are considered a mean girl or a bitch, you already know it’s true. Even Janice Ian put it so eloquently when she said, “At least me and Regina George know we’re mean!” When you are bitchy mean, you have an air about you that says “sorry but not sorry.” You really don’t care to know what’s going on with someone’s life and those around you have accepted that. I like to think that bitchy mean girls permanently suffer from Resting Bitch Face and although this doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean 24/7, it’s a good indicator to not mess with you.

Business/Work Mean

We’ve all been there; dealing with someone in the office that is a total biznatch! They walk around constantly being a Negative Nancy while you sit in your cubicle counting down the minutes until you can run the hell away from her! My other favorite type of representation of work mean is the one-upper. “Oh, you closed a deal with a client today? Yeah, well I closed four last week.” “You went for a run on your lunch break and did 2 miles? I did 5.” You can only hope one of you will give your notice before you claw your her or your eyes out!

High School Mean

One would think that after high school some girls would grow up and leave that cafeteria clique mentality. Unfortunately (for them) it doesn’t happen. One specific and legendary scene in Mean Girls captures their mantra perfectly: Regina to girl: “O my god I love that skirt, where did you get it?” Girl: “It was my mom’s in the 80’s.” Regina: “Vintage, I love it.” Girl walks away. Regina: “That’s the ugliest F-ing skirt I have ever seen.” Do you or know someone that does this on a regular basis. I’d raise nine hands if I had them!

My Friends Are Mean, So I’m Mean

When it comes to circles of friends, you find out at a young age whether you are a leader of a group or a follower. If you fall in the leader category, it’s your lucky day! Your entire flock of peasants will disapprove of anyone you feel is beneth you. If you’re a follower, then you are just mean by association and everyone else will think so too.

Womanhood Mean

As woman enter their mid-twenties and early thirties, it’s like their brain shifts and they feel the need to express how “adult” they are. Seriously, stop talking about your engagements, weddings, ultrasounds, and Instagramming your new home furnishings from Pottery Barn. You may be thinking “well this bitch is just jealous.” See what I did there? Trust me, this bitch knows all of those things are going on in your life and you’re being a bitch for talking about it! What was it that Mrs. Norbury said in the movie? “You’ve got to stop calling each other sluts and whores.” She should have added “bitch” to that list! (That word cuts deep!)

Boy Mean

One would think that I would change the heading to “guy mean” or “man mean” but come on, we all know that they remain boys until they reach the age of our grandfathers! (That’s not mean!) I believe Boy Mean goes hand and hand with those in Bitchy Mean, High School Mean, and Womanhood Mean. Bitchy Mean because any guy who is not up to your standards will get shut down in about 2 seconds. High School Mean due to the fact that if he was uncool in 10th grade, he will always remain that way in your adult years. Womanhood Mean because you’re looking for a husband and not a drinking buddy so clearly any single guy is a red flag. Sorry boys, don’t even think about adding her on Facebook…DECLINED!

As you can clearly see, there are various stages of “Mean” that we all can identify with and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, you can be labeled mean even though you’re not negative to anyone else. Jealousy, competition, and personal accomplishments come with a whole lot of negative baggage you may not have anticipated. The film “Mean Girls” taught us that and it also let Cady Herron leave us with words that we know deep down are true: “Calling someone fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. Ruining Regina George’s life didn’t make me any happier. The only thing that you can do in life is solve the problem that’s in front of you.” 

 

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