Remember those days in high school when the guy would walk by your locker, give you an elbow and you thought, yes! Someone is paying attention to me? Well as a sixteen year old, that was considered the ego boost of first period. In your 20’s, you might acquire a restraining order!
After talking to a few of my girl friends that are the same age, I noticed that we shared similar views on the “creepiness” that overcomes us when a unknown male gives you unwanted attention. Now please, don’t think this is a “I think I’m good looking and all the guys hit on me” rant because that is absolutely absurd. You should close out this blog and never read it again because I am definitely not one of those nor do I believe that. I am simply explaining what a lot of women experience at my age, which is the undesirable interaction with the opposite sex that we may encounter on a day to day basis. It may not even be a physical altercation that can set us off but a weird look or action that makes our nostrils flare (OK mine do but whatever!)
Recently I was at the supermarket doing some food shopping. I have been to the same store many times and can easily navigate the aisles and find what I am looking for. With my list in hand and eye on the clock, I hustled my way through the consumer maze. As I was reading a label on a carton of yogurt, an employee that was stocking, (not yet stalking), came over to ask if I needed help with anything. I politely said I was “all set, thank you” and continued my quest of leaving the store in 15 minutes flat.
I zoned in on the next aisle and there he was again. “Can I help you with anything?” “No” I responded, “I’m fine.” So at this point my thoughts went two ways; either he has been thoroughly trained in customer service and I should appreciate that or he finds great joy in repeatably asking the same question.
When I finally accomplished filling my cart and made my way towards the front of the store, a voice rang out behind me: “Do you need help finding anything?” OK, really? I think I have made it pretty clear at this point and not sure where the miscommunication happened. I slowly turned, giving what I like to refer to as the side eye, and said “No!” Steering clear of any more human interaction, I scurried into line at the self check out.
Was I utterly annoyed? Yes. Am I over-thinking the situation? Possibly. My point is that, not all young women seek or thrive on someone taking notice of them. Why do men need the satisfaction of a women giving him the time of day? It’s like in the movies when a young guy is around his friends and says something inappropriate to a girl that passes by just to get a good laugh from his buddies. Although when he is alone, he wouldn’t think twice of acting in that way.
To all the overly ambitious guys out there; give us a break. The stare downs, the unwanted questions, and the conversations without substance are in extremely bad taste. When we don’t respond or give you a look, we mean it. So go back home and work on some new tactics because in our minds, we are flipping you off!